in search of brogues

I searched for the perfect pair of brogues for years. Seriously. From my teens into my early twenties. I was obsessed, a completely batshit crazy shoe lady.

--Tan, not dark brown, not light tan
--Five rows of eyelets, four simply wouldn't do
--Leather exterior, lining and sole; they had to last years and years
--Cap toe, with no actual brogue detailing
--Sturdy but not bulky or vaguely orthopedic
--Brogues/lace ups/oxfords/insert appropriate term, but definitely not some hyper feminised interpretation of that (=jazz shoes)

Despite having very specific ideas about what I wanted, I bought so many pairs of shoes in pursuit of my ideal pair. Topshop, Office, Pied a Terre, Via Spiga, thrifted men's oxfords. Fortunately I was able to return some and re-sell others on eBay. That being said there are still three pairs languishing in my little sister's closet (they'll be part of a clearout I've been talking about having for months).

Finally earlier this year I spotted a pair of Church's brogues on the Outnet.

Church's.

Outnet.

They were tan.

After grappling with myself about what size I'd actually be, I bought them. They weren't exactly what I was looking for but they are absolutely divine.

I've worn them all of three times though. Apart from those rare occasions they've been stuffed with paper, tucked in their individual dust bags, in a box, stowed away in a corner of my closet...for safe keeping. Because clearly they're magic. Sadly, I'm not really joking.

I really wanted to savor them.

That didn't work out very well. I brought them on a trip to New York to wear on my birthday. I walked a couple of blocks from the hotel to Le Pain for brunch before realising there was no way I would be able to trek about the city for the day wearing them. They needed to be broken in.

I changed into a pair of Steve Madden loafers and silently cursed myself. They didn't go nearly so well with my dress. My mother agreed, telling me so unprompted (in her usual fashion).

I've decided to be greedy with them instead and in that vein have worn them twice in the past week. And while I still love them dearly, they are a bitch to break in.

I'm no longer consumed with this obsession (much to the relief of those around me), but I forever have my eye out for another quality pair.